I heard footsteps slowly coming up the stairs, I shoved everything I owned
into my tiny suitcase. Then I heard the footsteps come to a stop….. Right
outside my room.” Open up” a gruff voice said” I know you're in there.” That's
when I knew I should run. I scooped up my suitcase and quickly lowered
myself onto the roof just as the door burst open. I quietly climbed down the
water pipe and landed safely on the grass. I heard the man cursing loudly and
chuckled to myself, then I turned on my heel and walked into the forest.
into my tiny suitcase. Then I heard the footsteps come to a stop….. Right
outside my room.” Open up” a gruff voice said” I know you're in there.” That's
when I knew I should run. I scooped up my suitcase and quickly lowered
myself onto the roof just as the door burst open. I quietly climbed down the
water pipe and landed safely on the grass. I heard the man cursing loudly and
chuckled to myself, then I turned on my heel and walked into the forest.
By Olive
Golly Olive, I hope you haven't relaxed too soon. Your intruder sounds very determined.
ReplyDeleteI like the imaginative way in which you escaped, but wonder if you could have used a few more adjectives - could the roof have been green and slippery? The water pipe rusty? The forest welcoming?
What do you think?
Jackie (Team 100WC)
New Plymouth
New Zealand
Hi Jackie,
ReplyDeletethanks for commenting, and for telling me what i could do better, because there is always room for improvement!
Olive